I woke up yesterday morning to a New Year. All the clichés sang out their tunes… a clean slate, a second chance, a do-over, a new story, new year/new you. Resolutions. Commitments. Disciplines. Covenants.
“Every day I will… fill in the blank.” Read more. Worry less. Teach more. Yell less. Live more. Facebook less. Clean more. Clutter less. More, less, more, less… more, better, newer, more. As if all I had to do already wasn’t enough.
It was a barrage of newness raining down on me from the cozy spot in my bed. Neighbor dogs barked their mocking, “Good luck, Sucka!”
And then I looked down.
Our littlest one was nestled in my arms. Warm and content after his 6am wake-up when I brought him in to snuggle. Because babies just sleep better when they’re snuggled up against their mommas.
And in at a totally acceptable 7:30am came my little princess. Sleepy-eyed and frazzle-haired wondering aloud why I was still in bed before she unintentionally caught the snuggle bug and fell back to sleep. Blankets piled and wrapped around us all in a little cocoon. Safe, warm, and protected from the breaking dawn of a New Year and all of its expectations.
So much will happen this year that is out of my control. So much will change. So much will grow. And it will go by so stinking fast. I know this.
But these little people that live in my home… they don’t know that. All they know is that right now. This moment. They are snuggled up against the ones who love them more than life. All they know is pancakes for breakfast and big smiles during diaper changes. They don’t care about my resolutions or my expectations. How I think I’ve failed or how I hope I’ve won. They don’t care that a ball dropped last night or that a calendar was thrown in the trash this morning. It doesn’t matter.
Because every morning is a chance to snuggle under the covers. Every day is a new start – at rolling over or pronouncing “Fs” or tidying up. Every second, I am their Mommy and this is our home and today is our life. “Today,” January first or “today,” every day. Cluttered closet, dirty dishes, extra few pounds, last year’s wardrobe, cheerio-ed car and all.
And these little people. These little moments. The snuggles, the hugs. Putting on jackets and combing hair. Cleaning spit-up. Tugging up loose socks… again. These are what matter.
Not my grand visions of what my life could be or, God forbid, what it should be. But my acceptance and thankfulness for what life is. Right now.
Today and every day.
I woke up yesterday morning to a New Year. But then I looked down and was relieved to see that it didn’t matter. Nothing was new. Because the blessing and amazing and beautiful of yesterday has not changed a bit. It’s still right here. Snuggled in bed just waiting for pancakes. And I don’t have to be more fit or more organized or more patient or more anything. I just have to be their Mommy. As long as I am that, I am enough.
Happy New Year!
But more importantly… Happy today.