Okay, to be fair, he will eat a little bit more than chicken nuggets. He actually will eat pretty much any kind of meat. And that is it. My kid only eats meat… with the occasional Cheez-It or pouch if he is feeling really adventurous. I have a hardcore picky eater on my hands. Mealtime has probably been one of the most stressful issues in our house over the past year. This issue has been extremely frustrating for my husband and me because we are both the polar opposite of picky.
As we transitioned from breastfeeding to solids, Jake would eat pretty much everything. We did a mixture of purees and baby-led-weaning and he could not get enough. We were so excited thinking that we were about to have a great eater on our hands.
Then, all of a sudden, there was a switch. It seemed to literally happen overnight. He began pursing his lips, spitting food out, throwing it in the floor, throwing it to the dogs, basically doing anything but eating it. The only consistent? He always ate meat. He will eat any kind of chicken, beef, or turkey. He will even eat shrimp, salmon, and tuna. But if it even remotely resembles a fruit, vegetable, or bean then he will not touch it. I have tried all of the “kid-friendly” foods like mac-and-cheese, potatoes, spaghettiOs, etc. and he refuses it all. We have searched the Internet for help and friends and family have offered advice as well…
Hide vegetables/other healthy ingredients in the food you make.
Let him dip his food in a condiment.
Give him the new foods first.
Let him get really hungry.
Eat vegetables/healthy foods in front of him.
Refuse to make him a separate meal.
Don’t let him have milk first because he will fill up.
Keep introducing the new food over and over again.
{He will literally find and pick out anything green or colorful I try to hide in food…}
The list goes on. The thing is–we have tried all of these suggestions (and others) time and time again. Guess what? None of it has worked {yet}.
My mom actually dealt with this same situation with my younger sister. She was the first to tell me to take a deep breath, don’t necessarily ignore people’s advice, but don’t stress if it doesn’t work for us. My mom told me that she often felt very embarrassed that my sister would not eat what her peers ate. She felt like my sister’s eating habits were a result of bad parenting. My sister was extremely picky but our family pediatrician kept an eye on her growth and development and basically just told my mom to calm down! Our mealtimes became much more peaceful, my mom was less stressed, and guess what? My sister is not only alive today but is quite healthy!
I am not saying all of this to imply that we have given up. We are open to any advice people are willing to give. However, we are not going to allow mealtime to become a screaming, crying, chaotic scene.
We still offer new foods regularly. He usually at least tries one bite but then promptly spits it out. We try to offer healthy versions of his favorites (grilled chicken instead of fried, etc.). My point is that I have given up on stressing out about it. If he spits out the carrots and throws the pasta, so be it. I mean, my sister eats sushi now.
Do you have a picky eater? We would love to hear any advice you have in the comments!
My advice would be exactly what you’ve already figured out: stop worrying about it. Unless he’s actually losing weight or having health problems, just stop stressing. I would make his plate exactly the same as everyone else’s (although in my family we already have meat at every meal, so he’d always have at least something to eat on his plate), and then let him eat what he eats.
I used to try to make my kids eat foods they didn’t like, but it’s a pointless, losing battle. Now I just make everyone the same thing, and they can either eat it or not. I will encourage them to at least try new things, but I don’t punish them unless they throw a fit.
Michelle, as a high strung person, it is taking me a while to just let go of the battle but I’m beginning to see it isn’t worth the struggle! He will pick the meat out of or off of anything we eat. He won’t even eat pizza- just the meat off of it haha!
Thanks for reading!
Sarah –
I have a similar situation with my 3 1/2 year old…and it drove me to the point of insanity (almost). She has about 10 staple foods that she will eat, and that’s it. She won’t touch something if she doesn’t like the way it looks…she has an aversion to savory smells…it really took its toll on us for a while. When she was a baby, she ate extremely well, but flipped a switch at about 18 months old and 2 years later, I am still fighting the battle.
I finally got a book on the subject, based on the recommendation of a friend of mine. It has helped immensly. The first thing I had to realize is that you can’t force food…in any way. Not even as a game, or a “just please take one bite”…nothing. Then mealtime becomes a battle zone and studies have shown that children will automatically eat less if pressured.
Second, I had to get rid of the mommy guilt. I cannot control, not should I control, if or how much my kid eats. My job is to get a relatively healthy meal on the table at the proper times (and provide snacks as needed). Her job is to eat however much (and whatever from the selection) she wants to. If she doesn’t want it, then the magic and freeing words “you don’t have to eat it” should be the first thing out of your mouth.
So what does this do for you? Well, it means you are responsible for one meal at breakfast/lunch/dinner and not making multiple special meals/foods that you think he may or may not eat. Second, it removes the pressure from the child. The goal is to have at least one thing in your menu that you know he will eat (in your case, probably meat). Yes he may have meals consisting of just protein for a while, but you’ll soon begin to notice him becoming a bit more curious if he isn’t forced. He will eventually eat better….although he may always be picky. But allowing yourself to be ok with it is such a burden lifted!
In the month that I’ve been trying this, my daughter is actually taking bites of things without me even asking. Sure, she may not like them or spits them out, but at least she feels in control of her choices, which must give her the freedom to explore a little bit. She has learned that she likes salad with ranch dressing (as long as it’s just lettuce, spinach and cheese, but that’s HUGE for us!) and hummus. I’m excited to see how things progress in the future, and I’m happy that I’ll be experiencing it with love at mealtime instead of frustration…
One final thing… I did realize that my daughter would supplement milk all of the time for food if she didn’t like what I was trying to get her to eat. And then bedtime would be horrible because she would want 3 or 4 glasses of milk (to supplement her hunger, I’m sure). So I’ve stopped allowing her additional glasses of milk at bedtime. She gets one glass after bath and that’s it. If she’s thirsty, there is always water, but she never goes for that option. Making that change and sticking to it I believe has made her also a little more open to food at dinner time. Just another suggestion in case you were experiencing this as well.
Good luck!!!
Heather- thank you so much for your comment! It helps so much knowing that I’m not alone! What is the name of the book you read? I would love to get my hands on it!
I too have a picky eater, when she started baby food, she would eat anything. But around the age of one I couldn’t get her to hardly eat anything. She literally ate like 4 things. I tried not to stress about it or force her to eat stuff. She is 5 now and is still really picky, but she does eat around 20 different things. We’re still working on it. At her last doctors appointment her doctor said she was healthy and growing, so not to worry about it. Just make sure she takes a vitamin, so she’s getting everything she needs. So as long as your little one is healthy I wouldn’t worry about it, he will more than likely start to eat more.