It had been a rough few days of motherhood and bam: I found myself right in the midst of a funk.
Sometimes you don’t see it coming. It settles subtly like a fog. It’s never invited or wanted at all, but a funk can develop slowly over time and creep right up on you before you know it.
After I drop the littles off for school I usually do a devotion and go straight to the gym. It’s like a game of monopoly. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. For me that sounds something like, “Do not pour into yourself early, do not expect to pour out anything good for the rest of the day.”
So, when I dropped the littles off and headed straight back home to go to bed? I should have known it was coming. Now, I’m not talking about the exhausted nap kind of going to bed. I totally recommend that any day of the week.
I’m talking about the going back to bed that involves avoiding the rest of your day.
I had a visit with a friend that evening and I started telling her a little bit of what I was going through. “Matter of fact,” I said, “I just don’t think I’ll go to Mom 2 Mom (a local mom’s bible study at First Baptist Concord) tomorrow. I kind of want to be alone.”
There’s nothing wrong with being alone either but I’m grateful for a wise friend who could see through my statement. “Nope,” she said. “You need to go. You are going to get depressed. Being around people is crucial when you feel like this.”
I’m always a sucker for wise counsel so I got up the next day, got dressed and went.
Let me tell you, it was the right advice.
When the speaker got up to talk about “Breaking up with Busy” I sort of wondered why I was there as in…I sure didn’t feel busy.
But after I’d listened for a while I felt the wall I had started to build up in the past few days around my heart start to crumble down. Sometimes a fresh wave of tears is the most comforting feeling.
God has a way of pointing us in the right direction and as it turned out, the busy-ness message was exactly what had gotten me in the funk in the first place. It was what I needed to hear. My friend was right. Had I stayed home I might have missed that crucial bit of information.
I sat there as the lady was speaking and remembered I had gotten a gift card for a massage at Christmas that I hadn’t yet used. Seeing that it is now halfway through April, I might have been a little too busy.
So, sweet mothers of Knoxville I don’t even pretend to know it all — I don’t think I could do that if I tried. But, I have learned a few helpful things along the way though and that is what I wish to share with you.
First and foremost when you feel yourself starting to wonder if the sometimes long and trying days of motherhood will ever get easier, connect with someone. Soon. I know that it’s hard and it requires a LOT of effort on your behalf. However, community is crucial. God never meant for us to walk this road alone. Alone is where we start to listen to the lies: “You’re not good enough, smart enough, your kids don’t eat enough organic food…” Blah. Blah. Blah. You know what I’m talking about because you’ve probably heard it before.
A good community will help you regain the perspective you need. Mine is a local mom’s bible study group. That may look different for you, but whomever it is in your life, just find them and get plugged in. Even if you don’t feel like it. Especially if you don’t feel like it.
The next little piece of helpful information I’ve learned along the way is to LIGHTEN UP ON YOURSELF. Ladies, no one does it all. I don’t know how I know this, but just trust me, I do. Big smile.
We live in a world where people post their pretty on Facebook. That doesn’t mean it’s all real. And that they don’t have a big laundry pile hidden in the corner somewhere or a sink full of dishes just like you.
So the next time you start comparing yourself-just stop.
For me that just means that I need to quit trying to do everything that everyone else does just for the sake of being busy. Accept the moment of motherhood you’re in, go with the flow and let the rest go.
It’s like Dr. Seuss says, “Unslumping yourself is not easily done.” But Angel is here to also say that while it might not be easy, it CAN be done.
Take courage sweet mamas; I’ve been there and dug it out myself. So can you!
Do you find yourself sometimes in a slump? What do you do to help yourself un-slump?