I have never had this easy of a job, well, ever.
Being a stay at home mom is such a breeze. I wake up in the mornings, brew a fresh pot of coffee, drink a cup in my beloved Rae Dunn mug of choice, then leisurely take a seat and watch one of my favorite Bravo shows. Sometimes, I may take some time to shower before the kids wake up and I get ready for the day. I have fun-filled plans ahead!
First, we will meet up with some other moms and have a fantastic playgroup with our littles. Then afterwards, lunch at Chick-fil-A, then a fabulous stroll through Target. Our FAVE! The kids love going to Target. Who doesn’t, right?!? When we finally make it home after said fun, the kids take a nap and I have all the time in the world to get any chores/laundry done, paint my nails, and if I’m lucky…a nap by myself.
But, let’s be honest. NONE of this is true…let me slap you in the face with some reality.
There is NEVER a morning when I’m not woken up with either my 18 month old yelling “REESE, REESE!!!” (she has never called me mama, it’s always been Reese), OR my four year old son standing right next to my face, staring at me. I literally jumped yesterday morning when I opened my eyes and saw another set of eyes staring back at me. Why do they do that?!? Then the “I’m hungry” start. Like a broken record, over and over. Can I at least drain my bladder after the great night of sleep I’ve had!? That’s another joke. Sleep?? What’s that??
Let the day commence…if I’m lucky, I will get a sip of coffee before 10am. Coffee somewhat does the trick to snap me out of my “mombie” like state. Then there is breakfast. All. Morning. Long. For some strange reason, three half-eaten pancakes aren’t enough. They need a banana, strawberries, four animal crackers out of an entire snack bag, and whatever else they can get their hands on. Like mini garbage disposals, except wasting a ton of food on the way. Meanwhile, I’m starving and when (let’s keep it real), IF I finally sit down to eat, they sit in front of me and stare. Until they eventually win and eat half of whatever I’m eating. This isn’t just during breakfast. It’s lunch and dinner too. Anyone else try to eat something quietly so your kids don’t hear? Then realize you’ve lost when they come running like a stampede of elephants down the hallway?
This is my life everyday. To all the judgy moms out there who LOVE to say “I envy you. I WISH I could stay home every day!”…eat your words. I’m not at home eating bonbons, while enjoying my adult shows and relaxing with ease. I’m cleaning the same dang (insert more choice words here) room 12 times a day, changing poop off my child and her sheets, cleaning food off the floor, watching the laundry pile up on the couch, while there is a load in washer and dryer, running my kids to appointments all week, feeding meals, cleaning up said meals from table, chairs, hair, catch my child pull a cracker from under the couch and eat it, taking VERY public bathroom breaks, all while Caillou is playing in the background and I’m looking like a vagabond. There is nothing glamorous here, people.
While I am SO very thankful my husband works hard every single day so that I can spend each day with my babies, it’s no cakewalk! And for those who post pictures of their perfectly clean houses, perfectly cooked meals, and your perfect kids…we know you’re not perfect. Do you know how we know? Cause we are moms too. That picture of your beautiful spic and span house was probably only clean for 12 seconds, until your child realized “OH, a clean spot!! Let me make another mess for you!”