New Year, Same Old Me

Allow me to set the scene for you. As I sit down to write this, coffee by my side, thoughts whirling, I’m inundated with a level of sudden background noise that frankly makes me wonder if I actually want to turn around to see what happened. 

You’d think I’d be used to it by now, that I would have found a way to channel calm and patience through the everyday ups and downs that are slowly becoming more predictable in their unpredictability. But with three boys under five, it’s safe to say there’s never a dull (or especially clean) moment. 

I sat down a couple of nights ago, on New Year’s Eve 2017, planning to dissect and perfect my ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ as I have so many years before. The usual suspects were all in there: finally lose the darn baby weight, treat my body a little more like a temple and a little less like a trash can, move more often (rounding up 17,012 Legos a day doesn’t count unfortunately), and then I got to me.

Me. What do I want to change about me? 

Not appearance, or physical health, or exercise level — what is it about myself and who I am that really needs some attention? Some work? Well, actually now that you ask, quite a list came to mind. At first I was a bit embarrassed, maybe even a little ashamed. Reflecting on the year that lay right behind me, I could hone in almost immediately on those shortcomings about myself that I very much didn’t want to drag into the New Year.

So I figured, where better to gather accountability for my three main New Year’s ME goals, than to share them out in the open with my fellow Mom community:

1. My Patience

It’s just not enough with small kids around. It’s not their fault and it’s not really mine either; it’s kind of just how I am in terms of emotional build. It is however a skill that can be honed, a tool that can be practiced with and improved upon. Goal Number One. 

2. My Self-Love

My husband once told me that if he ever heard someone talking about me the way I talk about myself, he’d knock them out. I’d have to agree. You could tell me a story with the exact details of my own situation, and nine out or ten times I’d find grace and compassion to give that stranger despite the circumstances. Yet, for myself I most often have none at all. I’m fairly sure I can’t expect to live a happy and abundant life that way, so that’s going to have to change. Goal Number Two. 

3. My Career

I’ve enjoyed watching a small hobby flourish into a full-fledged business in 2017, something that is not only a massive blessing for our family, but is also a massive win for my sense of purpose and contentment. It’s no secret I’ve struggled with exclusive ‘stay-at-home-mom’ status (see goal number one), and having a consistent stream of goals and achievements outside of parenthood has done the world for my psyche, but it’s also hard to find the right balance in all that. I need to schedule my days better, prioritize my children and the bizarre inspired artwork they always want to show me right at a critical point, and I must be okay with not exceeding every single goal. This year I will aim for consistency and balance. Goal Number Three.  

And that’s it. For now. I’ll let you know how I do. Here’s to a brand new, beautiful year and may all your hopes and dreams come true, but if they DON’T, then don’t forget to enjoy the ride. That counts too. 

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