I need some grace.
I need some grace when I’m on my phone at the park. It’s the first chance I’ve had to text my mom all day. My daughter has barely eaten in three days. I made her favorite banana chocolate chip muffins this morning. I even let her help, and she seemed so excited. But she still didn’t eat them, and I’m not sure what to do about it. But my mom always knows what to do, and I haven’t had a chance to text her.
I need some grace when I don’t say “Hi” to you in the parking lot after dropping my kids off at school. The baby was up all night, and I’m so tired. I have a million things I need to accomplish during these few short hours, but my brain is so foggy. I’m sorry I didn’t see you. It was not intentional.
I need some grace when I haven’t returned your phone call. I’ve been thinking about you since I first heard your voicemail. I’m trying to find a quiet moment to call you back, but I haven’t found that moment yet. I promise I’ll call as soon as I can. You deserve an uninterrupted conversation.
I need some grace when my daughter’s hair is the hottest mess you’ve ever seen. We did have time, and I do care very much about teaching her proper hygiene standards, but that three year old — she’s got her own agenda. She likes it “big” and the way her curls tickle her face. She doesn’t want me to comb it down or flatten it. That’s one of the battles I’m choosing not to fight. Besides, I’m pretty proud of her confidence.
I need some grace when I’m late to meet you. Time is one of my highest priorities. I began getting ready hours before I needed to leave. I had anticipated nearly every obstacle we would run into before getting out the door. Nearly. But my children are real people with their own plans that don’t always jive with my plans. I tried so hard. I feel more embarrassed than my carefree “Sorry…kids!” excuse seems to convey.
I need some grace when I speak harshly to my children in front of you. It came out much harsher than I intended, and I’m horrified, too. Though I could justify my tone with all the reasons they deserved it, the fact remains that no children deserve to be spoken to in such a harsh manner, especially from their mother. I knew it immediately. I cried and apologized the second we got in the car.
Our children are so good at giving grace, aren’t they? After all, we show them grace all the time. They make huge messes and deliberately disobey us, yet we still shower them with loving kindness because we know that’s not who they are. They made a bad choice, but we know their heart — their good, pure, honest heart that really did try.