I am married in a heterosexual relationship. I have a career. I value family. Pssst…guess what? I am a feminist.
Nevertheless I am a feminist.
No lie…there is reluctance in announcing this because I can anticipate the judgment. Being a feminist these days is deemed pejorative and conflicted. I use “conflicted” because just like there is not one type of religious belief, there is not one type of “feminist.” I also use “conflicted” because I have always felt this balance of being a “lady” (aka predetermined ideas of what I should be) and simply being the strong-minded, willful, woman that I am.
Anytime I have ever felt trapped in the role of “lady,” I have stood my ground and dug my heels in. This is especially true as a mom.
I feel my FeMoMist gaining voice. I am embracing this term as a new attribute to describe myself because it embraces motherhood as one of my many roles as a woman. So many women I know talk about their former pre-baby self as a separate self, former life, now gone. Not me.
Being a mother does not end my story but instead expands my narrative.
So…how does this translate into parenting?
Being a FeMoMist has fired me up to be even louder!
I want my son to very clearly know that his body is his body and mine is mine-so as he gets his voice and whenever he is in any position to act as an ally, he will.
My son loves me and I want him to see my uniqueness so he can appreciate this in other women rather than mislabeling on first glance. Yes it is true, I don’t wear makeup and barely have time to shave my legs BUT I am very feminine. I am also intelligent, funny, and have love in my heart.
I want my son to know that his mom and dad work equally hard so that if he is ever in a supervisory role he will reward work ethic regardless of gender.
I want my son to see how my awesome husband respects me, does not belittle me, and constantly challenges me to further my capabilities. I don’t want my son to feel threatened by a female leader but instead admire her attributes.
I also recognize that my values might not be the same as yours and what I say to that is: “You do you.”
Being a FeMoMist also respects that each woman parents differently. We do, however, have a common language of birth, concern, and fierce love.