We Chose Love: When Marriage Is Hard

We Chose Love: When Marriage is Hard

We were 15. Just kids. We went out for ice cream, watched movies, played games. It didn’t matter where we went or what we did, we had so much fun together.

We went to separate colleges and wanted to stay together. We lived on opposite sides of the country. Some tragic life events happened and we grew up at different rates. Our interests diverged. We started to bicker more, yet somehow we always returned to one another.

We began careers. We rented our first apartment. We learned to be adults together. We told each other everything. We were best friends and roommates. We shared the same dreams and wanted the same things.

We got married. A beautiful day, surrounded by our friends and families. We traveled the world together. We were in sync and shared a love of adventure. We rarely fought. We gave one another grace. We supported each other and we adapted to whatever life threw at us. We were a team.

We decided to expand our family. It didn’t always look how we envisioned. We were tested. No one warned us that children can take such a toll. We were exhausted. We were stressed. We were scared. We took it out on each other.

Our family grew and our time was spread thin. We put all of our energy into the kids and we lost sight of one another. We co-existed and lived parallel lives. We were grateful for our amazing children and enjoyed family time, but we didn’t really see each other. We lost patience easily and took one another for granted. We didn’t really have the energy to care. We assumed we would be fine, there had to be a reason we were together.

A wise speaker said the words:

You chose each other. You gave birth to your kids, they didn’t pick you and one day they are going to leave you.

It clicked.

We talked. We fought for love. We reminded ourselves to make time for one another. We looked into each other’s eyes. We acknowledged the kids require the majority of our time and energy right now, but vowed to prioritize one another as well. We accepted our shortcomings and once again found our grace towards one another.

We understood relationships are a continual work in progress and we will always have ups and downs. We held hands. We began to dream together again.

We chose each other.

We chose love.

If you are looking for great date night suggestions, look here and here!

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2 Responses to We Chose Love: When Marriage Is Hard

  1. Lisa January 4, 2017 at 6:57 pm #

    Thanks Andrea for writing this. The struggle is real. I am going to look my husband in the eyes more with love and intention.

    • Andrea January 5, 2017 at 2:59 am #

      That is wonderful to hear!

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