I’ve noticed an eerily similarity in the way college prepared me to become a mom. I had flash backs of trying to make it to my 8am math class on The Hill puking my guts out because of my dear friend Jack Daniels. Flash forward to when I was pregnant, working as an auditor, running to the bathroom every few seconds to vomit. I would have to give myself a pep talk to make it through the work day.
When I had my son 17 months ago, I quickly realized what those four years prepared me for the following aspects of motherhood:
1. Taking three hours to get ready to leave the house
College: OMG, this is my jam!! Turn it up! Let’s make a playlist. Who is going to curl my hair? What should I wear? Maybe I should paint my nails? Put on the 3 6 mafia pregame playlist. SIPPIN ON SOME SIIIIIIIZZZZURP. Are we walking or taking the “T”? Should we pregame to our ’80s power hour instead? Are we REALLY still waiting on her? What is she doing? We’ve been getting ready for 2.5 hours now. We are leaving you in 5 minutes. Seriously. 5 minutes.
Motherhood: 5:30am toddler wide open no matter what time they went to sleep last night. 8pm? 11pm? IT DOESN’T MATTER. They will wake up at 5:30am like they just shot gunned a Red Bull. On the days I work it is HARD to get out of the house. You would think I would have a full face of makeup and perfectly curled hair if I had three hours to get ready. FALSE. Absolutely false. How in the world did I just spend three hours trying to get myself and a toddler out the door? Yes, son, by all means when I say it’s time to go, by all means, MOVE AT A GLACIAL PACE.
2. Finding random things in cabinets
College: I thought I had lost my student ID for months. I had to have it replaced and found it four months later tucked behind a bag of chips in a random cabinet. Thanks, roomie. I’ll know next time to check to cabinets first. Specifically, INSIDE the bag of chips.
Motherhood: When in doubt, GO CHECK THE TRASHCAN.
3. Pulling all-dayers
College: When I registered for my first semester at UT, I thought that a 9:40am class was SOOOOO late. Like, how cool is that? I can sleep in forever and get up and go to class. WRONG. DEAD WRONG. Choose the 3:40pm class or even better, NIGHT CLASS, Y’ALL. By the time I got through my third class of the day I needed a nap. Why are my classes 83,308,480 miles apart? Why didn’t I think that one through? I’ll have to nap at the library just to make it to dinner.
Motherhood: How do people make it to naptime? HOW? Yes, that is an Orange Lei I am using as a hair thing because every single one mine have disappeared.
4. Sleep
College: “What did you do for Sunday Funday, Bro?” “Slept. All 24 hours. I slept.”
Motherhood: Never heard of this.
5. My Memory
College:
Psychology professor: “Ok, students, today we are going to talk about state-dependent memory.”
Student: “Oh, you mean, like when someone gets drunk and loses their keys they have to get drunk again to find them?”
Professor: “Exactly. A+ for your amazing thought process.”
Motherhood: Can remember every single N*SYNC lyric without missing a beat but can’t ever remember to thaw something out for dinner, like EVER. That is the reason why I am always in charge of the laundry.
How did college prepare you to become a mom?
This was hilarious. College prepared me as a mom in that it proved to me I have a brain, which sometimes I forget I have when chasing 2 boys 3 & under. It’s nice to know I was smart once. Haha
Thank you, Jaclyn! I absolutely agree! Mom brain kicks in hardcore and some days I have to remind myself, I SWEAR I AM INTELLIGENT.