When the Holidays Are Hard

The Holiday season is in full swing, and I’m having mixed feelings.  Part of me is excited, like I usually am this time of year.  But a larger part of me is a little resistant to the coming of this big season.

This is my first Holiday season since our deep loss.  This time last year we were expecting our second child, and I had great visions of what this Christmas would look like with two little ones.  But in May, our second son died, and now we have to learn how to celebrate this special time of year while our hearts are still broken.

I don’t know what that’s going to look like, and it, like everything else this year, is going to be a new step in this journey of grief.  We will walk it out as best as we can and learn from the mistakes that we make along the way.

This time of year that can be so full of joy, excitement, and brightness, can also feel quite opposite for those suffering from loss.  Seeing others with their loved ones who we miss can bring on hard feelings.  Times that are meant for families and togetherness can feel that much harder when you don’t have your complete family.  Shopping for one fewer person, letting go of past dreams, an empty chair at the table, missing someone to snuggle up with, watching sparkling lights flicker reminding us of what we do have but also what we don’t have.  No matter the loss – the death of a loved one, a broken relationship, a lost job – know that it’s okay to have a harder Holiday season.  Give yourself grace to get through this time, and I’ll try to remember to do the same for myself.  And know that you aren’t alone.

So, if you know loss or you’re feeling sad as this season kicks into gear, I hope you can find support, community, and love around you.  And I hope you can find it here.  If you want some company as you walk through this harder season, I’d love to have some friends to walk with.  And if you want us to be thinking about you, please leave a comment and let us know.