When The Going Gets Tough and You’re Feeling Lonely

Motherhood can be such a lonely place some times. We live in these routine days that seem monotonous, at times. The only thing that changes is what the kids are fighting over, but the day in and day out seems so very similar. Get up, get ready, throw in laundry, fix breakfast, get kids dressed, brush all the teeth, move laundry over, pack lunches, pack backpacks, find missing shoes, and get out the door with everyone looking semi-put-together. And this is all just before 8 AM. Whether you’re a working mom or a stay-at-home-mom, it doesn’t matter. We all have tough days, long days, lonely days. Do you ever feel like you are in it and you have no partner in crime? Or maybe you do have a good friend or lots of friends who you can talk to, but you still feel lonely.

How about when something really hard happens and you feel like you’re alone? How about when the every day is really hard and you feel like you’re alone? For some reason, it’s hard to have good friends when you’re a mom. It’s hard to keep good friends. Maybe yours moved away. Maybe a new child changes things. Maybe one upsets the other and no one talks about it, so the relationship just withers like a flower with no watering. Whatever the reason, it’s all hard. And it can all leave us feeling like we are in the trenches all alone. 

Don’t get me wrong — motherhood is amazing. Being a mom is the greatest part of my life. I was meant to do this. And I love it. There are so many things about being a mom that no one told me about. And they’re so wonderful! The way my heart would feel like it was going to explode just holding my baby in my arms. I never could have understood that. I also couldn’t have understood how lonely being a mom would be at times. How isolating it would be to stay at home and to have conversations about “potty words” all day. How hard it would be when a friend quit calling or coming around. 

It’s hard, and I’ve learned that. I don’t have any tips on how to make mommy-friends or be an awesome friend. I have a lot to learn. But I can tell you that you aren’t alone. There are a lot of us mamas out here, and we are in it together.

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3 Responses to When The Going Gets Tough and You’re Feeling Lonely

  1. Carrie
    Carrie April 15, 2015 at 6:24 am #

    Lauren, YES! Motherhood is lonely…but I think it’s because focus comes off of self and gets redirected to baby. Because of this, in the time that remains, we’re working to make it all work! (Laundry, work, finding shoes–just like you said). Generally speaking there are to tons of hours left!! And I’m with you, it’s totally lonely at times and WONDERFUL! ☺️. If you ever wanted (or needed to get out) with or without babies, I’d love it! You, by the way, are an amazing Momma.

  2. Dawn April 15, 2015 at 6:43 am #

    I have been a stay-at-home mom for almost 18 years. My oldest graduates high school next month, but my youngest is 8. I homeschool, but am not involved in any of the homeschool groups (I assume there are some here), mostly because we did not have transportation. The kids and I are both lonely, and it is really hard. Their father kept moving us so none of us could keep friends, and now the kids & I are alone, after he evicted me (and I took the kids, obviously). So yes, I get it – and maybe I’m not alone in the grand scheme of things, but it sure feels it most days.

  3. Nikki Sughrue April 15, 2015 at 2:30 pm #

    100% with you. My husband and I were both in our 40s when our 2 year old daughter was born. Suddenly, it seems like we have nothing to talk about with our oldest, dearest friends (most have kids in high school or beyond). But I do take comfort in knowing other moms are feeling this way sometimes too. Hang in there mamas, here’s to more of the better, happier days and less of the lonely.

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