When the Color of Christmas is Blue

Color of Christmas TitleI’m one of those who absolutely loves Christmas. So much so, in my last post, I confessed to keeping a few Christmas songs in my random mix for spontaneous year-round reminders of this holiday season, BUT what I didn’t mention is the fact this Christmas isn’t shaping up to be that joyful, warm, fun, snuggly kind of Christmas, if you know what I mean. If the truth be told, even though my last post was titled, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” there have been times this year when I’ve struggled to find the Merry in my own Christmas. Any chance you can relate?

When I joined Knoxville Moms Blog, I think I did so rather naively. I thought, “Hey, I’m a mom now, I like to write, so yeah, why not!” However, after reading various posts, I realized quickly I was in over my head! See my little guy is only 7 months old, and well, my ‘Mommy’ experience is pretty limited! I know nothing about daycare, play centers, at-home crafts, holiday kid-friendly events, which product is better for what and or where to get the greatest gear (‘cause I’m always looking for the cheapest!) In fact, I’m pretty clueless about all of it because we’re still in the world of bottles, bibs, drool, playmats and walkers and simply haven’t gotten there yet! In addition, when hooking up with a Moms Blog Network, I started to become more aware of the mommy-blogger world that I’d been oblivious to before. Suddenly, I felt immersed in a new world of supermoms when I felt anything and everything BUT ‘super.’ There were all these amazing moms with their amazing blogs and their craft sites and their polished posts and, well, what seemed to be perfect lives. (I’ll insert here that of course, no one’s life is perfect, and I have my head screwed on enough to know that!) But it still seemed like it.

Because of this, I found that when it was my time to sit down and write for a scheduled post, I really struggled to find a half-way interesting, half-way relevant topic, let alone, the words I actually wanted to say. I found myself feeling completely out of my element, unprepared for this new ‘venture’ and essentially void of what it might take to pull this thing off, so to speak. I’m telling you this for a couple of reasons: 1. When compared with the published posts of some of these seemingly perfect, even internationally-known people, my life looks like a train wreck! Yeah, I’m not sewing doilies and whipping up made-from-scratch anything over here, you know?! 2. Even though my life, in this particular season of it, doesn’t come close to resembling perfection, I’ve found myself wanting it to, and feeling as if it should before I could ever go public with a personal thought on any topic! Silly? Absolutely, but I think we all may be guilty of this line of thinking, from time to time, when consciously or subconsciously comparing ourselves to others.

Christmas is known to be such a joyful time of year, a time for celebrating, hosting or attending parties with friends, having get-togethers with the family, gift-giving, singing, sending sweet cards and wishing others Merry Christmas! It’s a time of decorating the house, setting it ‘aglow’ and conjuring that magical feeling that (I think) most of us tend to love. I mean there are songs about it being “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” and “Tis the Season to be Jolly . . .” when in real life, we may not be feeling anything close to ‘jolly’ when the holiday festivities begin. In fact, sometimes, we’re down right distraught. If this is case, all of those above-mentioned activities can set an incredibly high standard for a time during which we may be feeling particularly low.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that as Christmas draws near, we see more and more social posts about “not judging others because everyone is fighting their own battle,” or something along the lines of “give someone a hug today because we all need it.” And have you noticed that Christmas movies are often focused around love lost Hudson christmas blogor new love? It’s a sentimental time of year, and when all is well, it can be truly delightful. But if you’re facing hardship, it can be incredibly challenging.

I wonder, do you find yourself in a place you didn’t expect to be this year? Are you facing a problem that you aren’t totally sure how to deal with? Have you been given a load that you aren’t quite sure how to carry? Maybe you’re going through a divorce, have lost a love one or just got a horrible diagnosis. Maybe your loved ones are far away and won’t be home this year for Christmas, or perhaps an absolute tragedy has befallen you. If so, it’s probably safe to say that this year’s Christmas is taking on a different feel. It’s probably safe to say that the normal standard of Christmas seems incredibly high. Could it be that you feel “completely out of your element, unprepared for this new ‘venture’ of facing Christmas and essentially void of what it might take to pull this thing off, so to speak”?  Do you feel like a closet ‘train wreck’ in a room full of seemingly perfect lives? If so, I can relate.

Even if times are tough right about now, and you can’t find any of those familiar feelings of Christmas cheer, I have great news for you Sweet Momma! The very reason Christmas was ever celebrated to begin with, remains the same. Everything else in life may seem out of kilter, but the true meaning of Christmas is forevermore! When we want nothing more than to enjoy this holiday season in spite of our pain or sorrow, we simply need to slow down, savor the moments such as they are, give thanks for what we do have, and truly contemplate the gift that was given through the birth of Jesus Christ.

Even if it’s blue, it can still be merry. God is with us!!

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5 Responses to When the Color of Christmas is Blue

  1. Heather December 18, 2014 at 10:51 am #

    Carrie, thank you so much for writing this! I needed it so badly. I, too, am struggling with a blue Christmas. Our financial situation is not great, and I am trying to not let it ruin this happy time of year. I can relate to feeling like everyone else’s life is perfect, or at least better than mine. I needed this to remind me that even though we may not have all we want, I have so many blessings to be thankful for! And, that not everyone’s situation is as perfect as it may seem. Thank you for sharing your story!

  2. christie elkins December 18, 2014 at 1:24 pm #

    GIRL. I don’t sew, make things from scratch, and I feed my kids chicken nuggets WAY more than I should. I am SO glad that you jumped aboard KMB; your unique voice rounds out our group of writer-mamas!! This is a fantastic post!

  3. Carrie
    Carrie December 24, 2014 at 10:34 am #

    Heather, thanks for your comment! I’m sorry to hear that this Christmas isn’t bringing with it all those usual warm snuggly feelings, and I’m sorry to hear that the financial situation isn’t exactly what you’d like. But YES, we do have so much to be thankful for!! Christie, thank you too! I appreciate that! I do manage to pull off dinner (and even though I’m not baking from scratch) I do prefer homemade dinners . . . but am so not above frozen when called for! 😉 Would love to get in a place where I could explore my creative side a bit more, but for now, it’s work, work, work!!

    • Heather December 24, 2014 at 9:34 pm #

      I managed to find some enjoyment in Christmas Eve traditions with my little ones today…Christmas movies, baking cookies, and writing notes for Santa. 🙂

  4. Carrie
    Carrie December 27, 2014 at 11:36 am #

    Heather! This is great news! I hope you were able to find enjoyment in the entire holiday!! Glad you were able to get in some tradition time!! They definitely seem to round out the holidays, don’t they? If we can just stay focused on the important parts, and come away from all those really high standards we (and our culture) set for us! xx

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