Love is Infinite: Giving My Baby a Sibling

Now that I am nearly 17 months into being a mom of two, I often find myself reflecting on how life has changed for my first-born since our second bundle of love, his sibling, joined our family. During the months leading up to my daughter’s birth, I remember looking at my son, fearing that perhaps becoming a big brother would cause him to suffer. In preparation for her birth I’d read him I Am a Big Brother with tears streaming down my face because I felt that I had suddenly taken so much away from him.

Now I know differently.

I am an only child, and while the choice my parents made to have only one child was more than valid, and afforded me many lovely opportunities, I remember wishing for a sibling many times during my adolescence and even as an adult. The relationship siblings share has been something I’ve observed over the years with great interest and curiosity, and as I entered parenthood, I knew I wanted to give my first-born that life-long sibling connection.

While there have certainly been periods of adjustment for both my son and I, I am often reminded that growing our family was the right choice for us. The fears I had about detracting from his life experiences were thankfully unfounded. By giving my little man a sibling, we’ve added great beauty and richness to his life. During my second pregnancy my husband would remind me that love is infinite, and that adding to the family would only allow our love for one another to grow. Wise words from the youngest of three.

So now, I find myself with a front row seat to siblinghood and what I see is simply awesome. From the eyes of this only child, having another little person with whom to share your life is so, so special and I thank my lucky stars each day that I was able to give my children such a precious gift.

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I am in awe to see that:

-they already love one another. A couple of months ago my son turned to his sister, and uttered the words that melt a parent’s heart: “I love you.” She, in turn, hugged her big brother with the sweetest little cub hug she could give.

-they are friends: very early on it was clear that the love these two share is unique and will bring them a great, and {hopefully} lifelong friendship.

-they are constantly learning from each other: they talk, play, share, fight…teaching them invaluable life lessons.

-they learn to love and care for another human being at a very early age: when both of my kids were born I knew I’d do anything to protect them. Now my little ones experience a similar feeling towards one another. Whether it’s my son bringing his sister her water bottle when she’s thirsty or my daughter bringing my son his hat when he’s playing in the sun, it’s obvious that these two care about one another and will watch out for each other.

-they have in each other a playmate, confidante, and teacher. As their parent I hope to be all those things {and more}, but it’s beautiful to know that they also have these things in one another.tandk2

-they have someone with whom to celebrate life’s great moments, and someone on whom to lean when things get tough. This companionship and understanding is perhaps what I longed for the most as an only child.

-they are cut from the same cloth and there’s no one else in the world who will understand what that’s like.

-they learn to resolve problems: siblings fight, that’s a given. And while hearing them squabble over the same toy over and over can sometimes drive me nutty, I know it gives them both an opportunity to learn how to work things out, a life skill that will serve them forever.

-unlike their mom, they’ll know from birth that love does indeed grow as a family grows. For as much as I love my first child, I love my second just as much. And they know that too. More love in one’s life is as good as it gets.

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3 Responses to Love is Infinite: Giving My Baby a Sibling

  1. Jenny Greene August 13, 2014 at 6:22 am #

    Francesca, this is beautiful! I’m a youngest of two and, while my brother and I aren’t terribly close, there was something about growing up with him in my life that I would never trade for the world. (Although sometimes I think HE wanted to send me back!!) Now, as we near this new stage in our life and in the life of our little P, it’s comforting to know all of the benefits and wonderful experiences she’s gonna have BECAUSE of her little brother in her life. Thank you for articulating that relationship so perfectly! Now… if only he would get here. 🙂

  2. Christie Elkins August 13, 2014 at 8:00 am #

    I LOVE this. My brother and I are best friends (although it was not always that way!) and I could not imagine not having him in my life. We have shared memories that no one else has, and I can count on him for anything!

  3. Emily S. August 13, 2014 at 8:22 am #

    Lovely post. By far the biggest joy I have as a mother is watching my children together. They are less than 2 years apart and great friends.

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