Accepting help. Why is it so hard for us as Moms, as wives, as sisters and as friends, to accept that sometimes we just need someone to lend a hand? Is it pride? Is it that we are worried what people will think of us? Has society set an unattainable standard that says we need to be a certain way? Is it because we are always measuring ourselves against other female figures that seem to “have it all together”?
This time two years ago, I became very sick. I was having severe gastrointestinal issues that were crippling. I always felt sick, I was incredibly fatigued, and I spent a lot of time in bed sick. This sickness stole my joy. It stole my motherhood. It stole my ability to function the way I had been able to function in the past, and looking back, it was a pivotal point of my life and taught me some of the BEST lessons.
During this time of sickness I had many people in my village extend their hand of help. Some people said, “Let me know if you need anything,” while others took their offer a step further. They didn’t give me the option to “let them know” if I needed anything; instead they did very helpful and meaningful things to make my life easier. These people told me WHEN and WHAT they were going to do to help me: “I’m making you dinner Tuesday night,” “I’m watching the kids during your doctor’s appointment on Wednesday,” “I’m going to pick the kids up tomorrow so you can rest,” and “I’m dropping off some groceries tomorrow.”
Accepting help binds us together, and when people bind themselves together, they are stronger! It was at this point that I realized that people really are willing to extend their hand and serve; that people don’t see this as a burden. Supporting each other, helping each other and loving on each other is one of the best gifts we can give.
This painful trial of mine taught me how to serve others who might be turned off when it comes to accepting help. The main lesson being: DON’T ASK — JUST DO! Don’t ask people what they need; just jump in and help them. Offer to make them a meal and let them know they aren’t allowed to decline the offer! Tell them you are free on a certain day to keep their kids so they can rest, drive them to a doctor’s appointment, or better yet, show up at their doctor’s appointment and wait with them to show your support.