I was set to write a completely different post for today, when I looked over to my beautiful 9 month old as she smiled sweetly at me. It’s a smile I’ve admired a million times since she came into our lives last March. But this time, it was different. She now has four teeth, somehow making her seem more child-like and less baby-like. And although how quickly she’s changing and growing took my breath away momentarily, what struck me even more was how much she resembled her paternal grandmother. The grandmother she’ll never meet, but with whom she shares a great many physical traits and, if she’s lucky, personality ones too.
And then there are those moments in which I lose myself admiring my son. He too shares some uncanny resemblances with a man he’ll never meet, but whom I know, would have loved him endlessly. His maternal grandfather. At times I find myself looking at photos of my dad, comparing them to my little man, and smiling. The gentle curl of my son’s hair, his loving glances, his heart-warming smile, the tilt of his head, the twinkle in his eyes, all take me back in time to sweet moments shared with my dad.
My husband and I each lost a parent about 7 years ago. It was a devastating time in our lives, filled with great sorrow and pain. It was a transformative time for us both, and although I’d like to claim it made us both better people, I’m not sure that’s the complete truth. What it did was make us keenly aware of the (unfair and unjust) fleeting nature of life. Our children are reminders of that as well. In the blink of an eye, they are crawling, walking, and talking. And, I’m told, going off to college, getting married, and starting families of their own. They are also constant reminders of the ones we’ve lost far too soon. And while there isn’t a day in which I don’t miss my dad (and my husband, his mom), there also isn’t a day in which I don’t thank them both for sharing a bit of themselves with my children.
It breaks my heart that my kids will never have the opportunity to read books with two of their grandparents, to bake cakes, run at the park, or find the missing puzzle pieces. But I am grateful that they each carry strong resemblances to them. Fortune would have us all together sharing meals, stories, and laughs, but instead it has us remembering our loved ones through the gentle, loving smiles of our babies. My dad used to tell me that he carried my heart in his and I have no doubt that the immense love he felt for me is something he now shares for his grandchildren. And that as he smiles down on us, the twinkle in his eyes is brighter than ever.
So beautiful, Francesca. I can only imagine how hard it was to lose them and how hard it must be not have them in your children’s lives, but this is a beautiful tribute. And I love that children so often resemble their grandparents. Perhaps it’s for this very reason! Thank you so much for sharing! Penelope is the spitting image of both of her Grandpas… in looks AND personality!! 😛
My parents were older (44) when they had me, so I unfortunately lost all my grandparents when I was young…one I do not remember at all, and the other three only to varying and slight degrees. My parents have done a great job of telling me lots of stories about them and showing me tons of slides (sometime pictures too, but mostly slideshows as apparently that was the ‘cool’ thing to do when my parents were young parents!). It has made me feel as though I know them better than I did, and I think of them often. I’m confident that your sweet children will ‘know’ their grandparents too, through your efforts to teach them who they were.
Francesca what a touching post, and I’m sure your dad and your husband’s mom are smiling down on those sweet children of yours!
so sweet. love this!